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Pilot. The Spirit of Christmas (Jesus vs. Santa)
Production Code: 1995The boys build a snowman, and when one (mostly resembling Kyle, but is unnamed) tries to put a top hat on it, another (also unnamed, but resembling Stan) warns not to. The hat is put on anyway, and the snowman immediately comes to life, but is evil, with a menacing and sinister look on his face. Tentacles emerge from "Frosty", and he grabs one kid (resembling Cartman) and throws him into the snow, killing him. "Kyle" shouts "Oh my God, Frosty killed Kenny!" Apparently, his name is Kenny, however there is another boy that resembles Kenny, except he occasionally speaks intelligibly. The surviving boys go to Santa for help, but he turns out to be Frosty in disguise and kills the boy resembling Kenny. The other two boys come upon a nativity scene, and beseech the baby Jesus for help in killing Frosty. A tiny Jesus emerges, with a baby's body and a large, bearded head, and takes after Frosty. The diminutive savior throws his halo at Frosty's hat like a boomerang, knocking it off and making the snowman once more inanimate.
Pilot. Pilot
Production Code: 101Un-aired and longer version of "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."
Kenny dies when he's run over by Officer Barbrady, but Kenny reappears in the end when the boys are waiting for the school bus.
Guest star: Franchesca Clifford (Voice of Liane Cartman), Rochelle Leffler (Voice of Wendy Testaburger), Karri Turner (Voice of Ms. Crabtree)
Pilot. The Spirit of Christmas (Jesus vs. Frosty)
Production Code: 1992The boys build a snowman, which comes to life when a magic hat is placed upon its head; however, this snowman is evil and begins a killing spree. The boys call upon Jesus to do battle with this menace.
1. Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
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While waiting for the bus, Cartman relates a "dream" he had about being abducted and anally probed by aliens. Kyle's baby brother, Ike, drops by and Kyle plays "kick the baby" until the bus arrives. Then, Kyle and Stan witness aliens abducting Ike while they ride away on the bus. At school, Cartman starts farting flames, but continually denies any actual abduction. Even when an 80-foot satellite dish emerges from his anus, he does not believe. The aliens find the kids by using the satellite dish, Ike escapes the mothership, and Cartman is taken away, only to be ejected later.
2. Volcano
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Jimbo takes the boys on a hunting trip on a mountain. Stan's father, a geologist, discovers that the mountain is going to erupt. The whole town pulls together to save the hunters and South Park itself. Meanwhile, the party on the mountain is unaware of the danger. Their greatest concern is Scuzzlebutt, a monster with celery for a hand, Patrick Duffy for a leg, and spends his free time weaving baskets.
3. Weight Gain 4000
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Cartman wins a national environmental essay contest by plagiarizing Thoreau's Walden. The prize is getting on live TV with Kathy Lee Gifford, who visits South Park. This causes Mr. Garrison to relive a traumatic childhood memory when young Kathy Lee beat him in a talent show. Mr. Hat convinces Mr. Garrison that he must kill her. Meanwhile, Cartman decides to take Weight Gain 4000 so that he can "bulk up" for his big appearance. He becomes so fat that when he is accepting the award from Kathy Lee, the stage collapses at the same moment Mr. Garrison fires at her, hitting Kenny instead. Cartman gets to be on Geraldo, Mr. Hat is committed to a mental hospital, and Chef gives Kathy Lee some sweet lovin'.
4. Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
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Stan has a new dog, Sparky (voiced by George Clooney), that is different from other dogs. He is homosexual. This troubles Stan, who has to concentrate on quarterbacking the South Park Elementary football team against Middle Park. Stan could be key in beating the 70 point spread against them. Sparky, after being hurt by Stan's feelings about his lifestyle, runs away and meets Big Gay Al. Stan, distraught by Sparky's disappearance, sets out to find him.
5. An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
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Kyle gets an elephant, but his parents won't let him keep it because it is too big. Mr. Garrison gives a lecture on genetic engineering, which gives Kyle the idea of making a pot-bellied elephant by splicing the genes of his elephant with a pot bellied pig. Terrence bets that he can clone a human before Kyle can make his animal. Kyle and the boys go to the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch, where they meet a Mephesto. Mephesto takes some blood from Stan, which Terrence uses to make a clone. Chef tells the boys that in order to make a pot-bellied elephant, the elephant would have to make love to a pig. The boys get the animals drunk, and the deed is done, but the Stan clone, starts wreaking havoc on South Park.
6. Death
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Stan's Grandpa turns 102, and all he wants for his birthday is Stan to kill him. While Kyle is watching Terrance and Phillip, his mother becomes enraged, and calls everybody's parents. Now nobody can watch the show anymore, and the parents organize a movement to end the show. The parents go off to New York to confront the network about the show. Back in South Park Stan begins to sympathize with Grandpa and agrees to kill him. Death shows up but instead goes after the boys.
7. Pink Eye
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A Russian space station crashes to Earth, killing Kenny. At the morgue, Worcestershire sauce is accidentally mixed in with the embalming fluid, causing Kenny to become a brain-eating zombie. Chef figures out that the epidemic is not pink eye, and they are told the original zombie needs to be destroyed.
8. Starvin' Marvin
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The boys see a commercial with Sally Struthers about adopting Ethiopian children, and getting a sports watch. Instead of getting the watch, an actual Ethiopian child is sent to South Park. When the charity comes to pick up Starvin' Marvin at Cartman's house, they take Cartman instead. In South Park, Mephesto creates a species of mutant turkeys that terrorize the town, and everybody enters a "Braveheart"-style war with the turkeys.
Guest star: Jesse Howell (Voice of Starvin' Marvin / Ike Broflovski?), Jennifer Howell (Voice of Bebe?)
9. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
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Kyle's mother complains that the Christmas play is favoring Christianity and not catering to people of other religions. Mean while Kyle is visited by Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo who only appears to Kyle. The complaints about the play continue, and all religious elements are removed from the play. Kyle is committed to a mental hospital because everyone thinks he's crazy for believing in Mr. Hankey. When Chef finds out about Kyle he makes everyone believe in Mr. Hankey, who appears finally to everybody.
10. Damien
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Damien moves to South Park. The kids bully him and he starts to destroy the school. Damien demands to see Jesus, who he challenges to a boxing match with his father Satan.
Guest star: Jennifer Howell (Voice of Bebe) , Michael Buffer (Voice of the Ring Announcer)
11. Tom's Rhinoplasty
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Mr. Garrison decides to get a nose job. On the day of his operation, he gets Ms. Ellen to substitute for him. After the operation is complete, he discovers that he can have his dream career: hanging out and screwing hot chicks. Now Ms. Ellen is the new teacher, but that is OK because the boys all have a crush on her, especially Stan, which makes Wendy extremely jealous.
Guest star: Jennifer Howell (Voice of Bebe), Toddy Walters (Singing Voice (uncredited)) , Natasha Henstridge (Voice of Ms. Ellen)
12. Mecha-Streisand
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Mr. Garrison takes his class on an archaeological dig for arrowheads. Cartman finds a mysterious triangle and the kids get on TV about this important discovery, which captures the attention of Leonard Maltin. He comes to South Park to warn about Barbra Streisand's desire to get the triangle. Barbra Streisand comes to South Park and tries to get the triangle from the kids. Barbra finally get the other triangle and becomes Mecha-Streisand, wreaking havoc upon the town. Maltin tells Chef to call Robert Smith of The Cure to come to the rescue.
Director: Trey Parker
Guest star: Robert Smith (III) (Voice of Himself)
13. Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut (1)
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Cartman has been absent for school for some time, and the boys go to his house to find out what's wrong. Cartman has become depressed about not having a father. Cartman confronts his Mother about it, and she says that he was conceived at the 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan enter a videotape they made of Cartman holding a tea party with stuffed animals in the weekly contest held by America’s Stupidest Home Videos.
Director: Trey Parker
Guest star: Toddy Walters (Singing Voice at Drunken Barn Dance (uncredited)) , Jay Leno (Voice of "Kitty")
Special. Jay Leno Comes to South Park
First aired: 11/20/1997Jay Leno comes to South Park Elementary and faces ridicule over the size of his chin.
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