Pilot. Here Come the Monkees  

Production Code: 4091

Black and white segments of screen tests featuring Mike Nesmith and Davy Jones from October 1965 are shown, which, as Robert Rafelson describes in a voiceover, are "spontaneous and unrehearsed." At the end of these interviews, Rafelson says, "Well, those are some of The Monkees. And you never know when they'll turn up next."

1. The Royal Flush  

First aired: 9/12/1966    Production Code: 4701

The Monkees are hip to a plot endangering the life of The Princess Bettina, Duchess of Harmonica.

Monkee music includes: This Just Doesn't Seem To Be My Day and Take A Giant Step.

2. Monkee See, Monkee Die  

First aired: 9/19/1966    Production Code: 4705

The Monkees are behind in their rent and face eviction until they are told that a millionaire has written them into his will. The only problem is that there are others who are after the inheritance too.

Songs: Last Train To Clarksville and Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day.

3. Monkee vs. Machine  

First aired: 9/26/1966    Production Code: 4700

The Monkees need money to pay their rent, so Peter applies for a job with a toy company but is not hired. Mike steps in and gets the job but soon discovers that an elderly toy maker is about to be replaced by a computer and schemes to prevent it.

Monkee music includes Saturday's Child and Last Train To Clarksville.

4. Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers  

First aired: 10/3/1966    Production Code: 4703

The Monkees reach the finals of a contest for a recording deal. Their performance is interrupted by another group's manager, who promises to help them through the use of various publicity stunts, which are designed to actually help his other band.



Monkee music includes (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone and Last Train to Clarksville.

5. The Spy Who Came in From the Cool  

First aired: 10/10/1966    Production Code: 4702

The Monkees are drawn into the world of espionage when Davey accidentally buys a new set of maracas, which have a roll of microfilm hidden inside. The spies who had the film and the Central Intelligence Service each try to use the Monkees to retrieve the film, only to be thwarted by the usually Monkee music and mayhem.

6. The Success Story  

First aired: 10/17/1966    Production Code: 4710

Davy is afraid to meet his grandfather, who is flying in from England, because he's told him through letters that he's a rich and important man in America. The Monkees set out to convince grandfather that Davey is indeed a wealthy man.

7. The Monkees in a Ghost Town  

First aired: 10/24/1966    Production Code: 4704

On the way to a concert date, the Monkees take a wrong turn and end up out of gas in a ghost town somewhere in the desert. They soon find out that the town is not as deserted as it first seemed.

8. Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth (a.k.a. Gift Horse)  

First aired: 10/31/1966    Production Code: 4708

Davy gets stuck watching a young man's pet horse and soon discovers that unless they can come up with a way to help pay for the horse's upkeep, the young man's father will sell the horse. The Monkees set out to become farm hands to raise money which quickly turns disastrous. Monkee music includes: "Papa Gene's Blues" and "All The King's Horses"

9. The Chaperone  

First aired: 11/7/1966    Production Code: 4711

Davy has fallen for a beautiful woman, only to find out that her father is a retired Army General who will only let her go to events with a chaperon.

The Monkees plot how to convince the General that she will have a chaperon to an upcoming party so Davy can meet her.

10. The Monkees (a.k.a. Here Come the Monkees)  

First aired: 11/14/1966    Production Code: 4091

Davy falls in love with the daughter of a man who has hired The Monkees to play at a sweet sixteen party. But she is so distracted by her love; she flunks a history test in school. Davy feels responsible and The Monkees set out to help the girl pass her makeup exam, only to find out they will be fired if she doesn't pass. Monkee music includes I Wanna Be Free and Let's Dance On.

11. Monkees a'La Carte  

First aired: 11/21/1966

While The Monkees are chowing down on hotdogs, their favorite eatery is taken over by the mob. The boys have a meeting with the express purpose of coming up with a plot to get the restaurant back for its ousted owner, Pop. Of course nothing goes as planned. Monkee music includes Steppin' Stone and She.

12. I've Got A Little Song Here  

First aired: 11/28/1966    Production Code: 4707

Mike gets a letter promising him that he can be a rich man by selling his songs. The owner of the music company, who is really a two bit swindler, takes his song but also his money for "fees". The Monkees rush to Mike's aid with an elaborate plot to get the song sold to the right person.

Monkee music includes Gonna Buy Me A Dog and Mary, Mary.

13. One Man Shy (a.k.a. Peter and the Debutante)  

First aired: 12/5/1966

A wealthy debutante hires the Monkees to play at her coming out party, where Peter falls instantly in love with her.

The girl's rich suitor, begins a campaign to show her what a low FORBIDDENboy Peter is and the Monkees reply with their own plot, to show what a fine person Peter is.

Monkee music includes Valerie and I'm A Believer.

14. Dance, Monkees, Dance  

First aired: 12/12/1966

In answering a trivia contest with the right answer, Peter "wins" a free dance lesson, only to sign a lifetime contract that threatens to drain his finances for the rest of his life.

The Monkees attempt to get Peter's contract voided, only to end up signing contracts themselves. The only answer is to cause so much havoc at the dance studio, the owner will tear up the papers.

Monkee music includes I'll Be Back Up On My Feet and I'm A Believer.

15. Too Many Girls (a.k.a. Davy and Fern)  

First aired: 12/19/1966

David is going through a girl crazy phase. Everywhere he looks, there's a girl, and it's causing problems during the band's rehearsals.

The Monkees take Davy to see a tea reader for a cure but the gypsy sees the love sick Monkee as the perfect match for her daughter. She sets up a scam to trick him into leaving the band and marrying her daughter.

The other Monkees come to Davy's rescue by exposing the scam.

16. The Son Of A Gypsy  

First aired: 12/26/1966    Production Code: 4724

When the Monkees beat out a gypsy group for a gig at Madame Rantha\'s mansion, the outraged gypsies trick the Monkees into being their friends, only to threaten their lives if they don\'t steal a valuable statuette from the mansion.

17. The Case of the Missing Monkee  

First aired: 1/9/1967    Production Code: 4731

At a French restaurant, The Monkees play at a testimonial dinner for Professor Milo Schnitzler, a nuclear scientist, who delivers a speech. The guest of honor hands Peter a note saying that he is being taken to The Remington Clinic, a rest home. After giving the note to Mike, Peter is knocked unconscious, and is dragged off, too. Worried about Peter's disappearance, Mike takes out the note that Peter gave to him. The Monkees set out for The Remington Clinic, where they ask a nurse of the whereabouts of Peter, but she tells them to go to a policeman. Micky, Mike and Davy take a policeman to the French restaurant where Peter was seen last, but it has been altered to resemble The Orient, with Dr. Marcovich, a master spy, disguised as a Chinese waiter. The boys try to smuggle Davy in, disguised as an accident victim, but fail again, and Davy consumes a cough drop that induces spells of singing and dancing to the tune of "Old Folks at Home (Way Down Upon the Swanee River)." The three climb up a ladder, break inside the hospital, and disguise themselves as patients. Meanwhile at the clinic, Schnitzler has been drugged and Peter tied up. Marcovich tells Bruno, his aide, that they are transporting Schnitzler out of the country. When they leave, Peter, in homage to an old C.C. Beck-created superhero, shouts "Shazam!," but a bolt of lightning shatters a mirror ("Well, another seven years bad luck for Captain Marvel!"). Micky, Mike and Davy are given harsh physical therapy by Bruno, while Peter has a dose of Marcovich's sinister brain drain. Micky, Mike, and Davy abandon all hope until they finally find Peter—who claims he doesn't know them! When they scare Peter to restore his memory, they learn of Schnitzler's predicament and find that Marcovich and Bruno plan to operate on Schnitzler and smuggle him out of the country in an ambulance (overseas?!?!). They force Micky to take Schnitzler's place when they hear Marcovich and Bruno arrive, and, garbed as doctors, Mike, Davy and Peter take over the operation. Outwitted for a time, Marcovich finally discover he is dealing with The Monkees. A mad musical chase set to "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" ends in the physical therapy room, where the boys turn the equipment against the villains. Sure that they should undoubtedly get 20 years from a federal judge, and probably get a good wrist-slapping from the American Medical Association, The Monkees set off in their Monkeemobile. Case closed.

18. I Was a Teenage Monster  

First aired: 1/16/1967

This parody on teenage horror flicks finds The Monkees hired by mad scientist Dr, Mendoza, at a Gothic mansion on Rosebud Lane. In Mendoza's lab, the doctor plans to turn a seven foot monster into the world's greatest rock and roll singer. The Monkees try to leave, but decide to stay and teach the monster the art of rock and roll for $200. That night, Groot, the valet, takes them to their room where they meet the mad doctor's beautiful daughter in a closet (who claims to have nothing to do with this episode, as she is in the sequel). While watching a horror movie about brain transplants, the boys disappear one by one and find themselves strapped to boards in the basement lab. The doctor tells them he plans to transplant their musical prowess into the monster's body, and proceeds with the operation, sparkling the place with electrical vibrations. When it stops, The Monkees find they can't sing, while the monster has all the talent. Mike threatens to go to the police, but Dr. Mendoza touches each Monkee with his stethoscope and erases whatever memory they have of what has taken place, and prepares the next phase of his experiment, whether his monster can fool an audience. The next morning, The Monkees find that all of their musical talent has deserted them—and gape in awe as they watch the monster perform, with their voices, a brief snippet of "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day" in his world premiere as The Swinging Android. In another room, The Monkees suddenly remember the laboratory where the doctor drained them of their musical talents and made them forget about it. Realizing they must reverse the process, The Monkees prepare to go to work in the lab. The first three attempts produce hilariously futile results: one turns the monster into a super hippie, the second has Mike growling in an unusually deep voice, and the third has the monster executing a fey interior decorator's stint. As if all this aren't bad enough, Micky accidentally knocks over a glass and breaks it, attracting the attention of Mendoza and Groot, who enter. A mad fight ensues for control of the monster, which Peter finally wins, and everyone madly capers about to the tune of "Your Auntie Grizelda." After the doctor and Groot are tied up for the police, The Monkees feel they have their musical ability again, but when they start strumming their guitars, their fingers cut through the strings, shattering the amplifiers.

19. Find the Monkees (a.k.a. The Audition)  

First aired: 1/23/1967    Production Code: 4721

Every local group in the neighborhood—The Four Martians, The Foreign Agents, and The Jolly Green Giants—drop in on The Monkees beach pad to tell them the great news: they have been invited to a TV audition by Hubbell Benson, a TV producer. Sad because Benson hasn't asked them to audition, the boys decide to send him a recording, but Micky has left the tape in a rented recorder. Benson's secretary, Irene Chomsky, accidentally rents the very same machine, and when Benson hears the tape of The Monkees singing "Mary, Mary," he wants to hire them but doesn't know who or where they are! The Monkees go to Benson's office at KNBC-TV studios, but Peter gets the hiccups. Davy and Micky's attempts to cure him result in his contracting seasickness and hay fever. By the time Peter is cured, Benson has left for the Missing Persons bureau, where its secretary gets a hassle searching for a pencil. The Monkees decide to go right up to Benson's office and see him personally, but Peter suffers a hiccup relapse; this time, the others' attempt to cure Peter's hiccups by scaring them out of him only makes him worse than before! Newsmen check the story and Benson sees a great publicity gimmick, while The Monkees, with their song "Sweet Young Thing," try but fail to audition for Benson over the phone. (Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent gets stuck in the phone booth after The Monkees and reemerges as Superman!) Reporters feature Benson's search for the mystery group in the morning paper, which the boys read. Unaware that Benson is looking for them, The Monkees engage in a romp set to "Papa Jean's Blues" as they pop up wherever Benson goes, and, in various disguises (as a Salvation Army band, a marching band, a Country and Western group and a gypsy group), hound him with gypsy, hillbilly, parade and calypso numbers, but are avoided at every turn. Back at the office, Benson, tired of looking for the mystery group, gives up and decides to audition the groups to whom they sent invitations: The Martians, The Agents, and The Giants ("Maybe they're something! Baby!"). They arrive, and when Chomsky plays The Monkees' tape again, they are finally identified by one of The Giants. Benson, Chomsky, and all three bands head for The Monkees pad. So impressed is Benson by the boys' impromptu rendition of "Sweet Young Thing," he proceeds to sign them up, but he hears his secretary sing and decides to star her instead. During a quiet drive in their Monkeemobile, the boys try to hide their disappointment, but Peter's so blue he wants to go to the South Seas! He disappears when he learns from Mike that TV stars can make $5000 a week, and the other Monkees go to the Missing Persons Bureau, in hopes of finding him.

20. The Monkees in the Ring  

First aired: 1/30/1967

The fight game gets its lumps in this episode. Walking down the street, Davy chides Peter about his leaving a trail of pistachio nuts across the city ("Y'know, if you committed a crime, the police'd find you in 2 minutes!"). Peter apologizes and goes back to pick up the litter of nuts, when suddenly he bumps into a bully. The bully makes ready to slug Peter when Davy intervenes and accidentally subdues him with a light tap on the chin. Joey Sholto, a fight racketeer, bears witness and tells Davy he can become a world champ. Davy's mates feel they'd rather see him alive and well than rich and famous, but Davy goes along with Sholto, and adopts the sobriquet "Dynamite Davy Jones." Joey tells Vernon, an ex-boxing champ turned hood that he'll arrange a series of setups for Davy; when he fights the champion, they'll bet against Davy and make a killing when he loses. In a romp set to "Laugh," Davy is put through a rough training regimen and goes on a boxing tour—where every bout he competes in is thrown by men set up by Sholto. During a press conference, Mike learns of Sholto's scheme as he receives a phone call by The Smasher, one of Sholto's men, in a money dispute. He tries to warn Davy, but he refuses to believe the fights were fixed, impressed by his easy victories. Having seen a futile plan by Micky, Mike and Peter to convince the champ not to fight Davy, Vernon rushes to inform Sholto, who, to insure the champ's victory, instructs Vernon to slip Davy a sleeping pill before the fight and make sure Davy's friends don't get out of their pad. By mistake, the champ gets the pill; meanwhile, at the pad, Micky, Mike and Peter, about to go to the arena to stop the fight, are stopped at gunpoint by Vernon and are forced to watch the brutal carnage of their buddy on television. In the ring, the champ is groggy for the first three rounds, but wakes up at the fourth, just as Micky, Mike, and Peter lock Vernon in their closet and rush to the ring to save Davy. Soon, as The Monkees sing "I'll Be Back Up On My Feet Again," three fights are on: Davy and the champ, Sholto and Mike, Micky and Vernon, whilst Peter takes over as timekeeper. With his help, The Monkees win and are declared world champs. When Sholto is arrested for kidnapping, assault, fraud, and attempted bribe, he complains that guys like The Monkees are ruining the fight game. Soon afterward, timekeeping Peter announces the national anthem; Davy raises his right gloved hand to his forehead to salute—so hard that he knocks himself unconscious.

21. The Prince and the Paupers  

First aired: 2/6/1967    Production Code: 4733

A spoof of the Mark Twain novel: "The Prince and the Pauper". When The Monkees audition for an Embassy Ball, Count Myron and his aide Max realize that Davy is a double for Prince Ludlow, 17 year-old heir apparent to the throne. The prince tells Davy that, according to the terms of his nation's constitution, if he is not wed before his 18th birthday, the throne will pass to Count Myron. As they fence, Count Myron and Max are impressed by their scheme to keep Ludlow single by keeping him away from all women and the ones who pay no mind to them will be driven off by the prince's shyness. Myron tells Max he has told Wendy Forsythe, who met Ludlow on the Riviera and took a liking to him, that the prince was a sly, malicious, sadistic pathological liar, in hopes of discouraging her from marrying him. Fortunately, this scheme proves to be a fatal flop, for Wendy comes to see the prince, and is announced by the Courtier, who has a habit of breaking his cane. Too shy to meet her, Ludlow asks Davy to impersonate him; as Wendy and Davy converse, they fall in love. After she leaves, Ludlow asks Davy to impersonate him for a few more days and persuade Wendy to marry him. While Micky and Peter take Ludlow to their beach pad and coach him in the fine art of dating, Mike, suspicious of Count Myron, guards Davy. Max intercepts a letter from Wendy declaring her love for Ludlow, and the Chemist coerces him to poison the tip of his foil when he gives the prince fencing lessons. During the match, Davy drops his foil but chooses the wrong one, and Max flees when he realizes his opponent has the poison-laced weapon. When Davy touches a plant with the foil, it shrivels and Mike and Davy realize Max intends to kill the prince. Davy proposes and wins Wendy, and tells the Count he will marry her that night. Mike arranges by phone for the prince to come to the Embassy for the wedding, unbeknownst to him that Count Myron is seeing through the plot. As Mike prepares Davy for the wedding, The Count greets them—and orders Max to bring in Peter, Micky and the prince. He has Ludlow thrown into the Dungeon and orders The Monkees to leave the Embassy or be killed. At the church, the Count is about to call the ceremony off when Davy appears in Royal finery, along with Mike, whom he coerces to stall the ceremony while Micky and Peter help the prince escape from the dungeon. Mike's nonsensical tirade is interrupted by Ludlow, who suddenly appears and takes Davy's place. While The Monkees—singing "Mary, Mary"—fight off Count Myron and Max, Ludlow marries Wendy and has the two conspirators arrested. Davy bemoans his lost love until he meets a female teen magazine reporter who is Wendy's double.

22. The Monkees at the Circus  

First aired: 2/13/1967

The Monkees invade Pop Arcade's small circus and fool around with its equipment, until Victor, a maniacal knife thrower, sadistically uses Davy as a target and orders the boys to leave. The boys soon learn that Pop's circus is about to fold because he can't pay the performers. Davy falls in love with Susan, Pop's young daughter. He persuades all of the acts to stay, except Victor, who broods that the rock-and-roll discotheques are the major contribution to the circus' downfall, and the boys don't disclose their identity to Susan, presenting themselves as brain surgeons. In a dream sequence, Peter, Micky, Mike and Davy don the guise of, respectively, a ringleader, a lion tamer and his lion, and an acrobat as they take part in a wacky circus scene; after which they overhear Victor declaring that he has persuaded the troupe to sign an ultimatum threatening to quit unless they receive their back pay. The Monkees break in, clad as aerialists. Posing as Amazing, Incredible, Colossal, and Stupendous, The Mutzarella Brothers, the toast of Paris, they announce they are joining the troupe. Impressed, Victor and the others decide to stay on. Susan, aware of The Monkees' deception, reports the evening show is a sell out and wonders how they can amuse the crowd. Having seen the boys, inexperienced as aerialists, botch every part of their high wire routine, she asks Davy for the truth. Overhearing his admission that they are rock-and-roll singers, Victor reports this to the rest of the troupe and they all decide to leave, but change their minds upon seeing The Monkees' clown act, singing "Sometime in the Morning." On the night of the performance, Victor refuses to go on with his knife throwing act, until he hears Davy introducing himself as The Invincible Victor. Horrified by Davy's near-misses as a knife thrower, Victor changes his mind and takes over the ring. Discovering his young friends are The Monkees, Pop insists they do their own act, and the Cool Quartet goes on to delight the crowd with their rendition of "She." While Susan smooches Davy, the troupe, as a token of their appreciation for saving their circus, each give Micky, Mike and Peter one of their equipment.

23. Captain Crocodile  

First aired: 2/20/1967    Production Code: 4730

Appearing on "The Captain Crocodile Show," The Monkees get cream pies in the face and refuse to perform. They decide to take it up with Junior Pinter, the 12 year-old executive in charge, who wants them to appear on "The Captain Crocodile Show" on a regular basis. Having put through a call to his father, the network president (who gave him the show for his birthday!), vacationing in Sidney, Australia, Junior guarantees The Monkees there'll be no more pies in the face and will be given the chance to perform. Having received a memo from Junior, Captain Crocodile fears the competition, and instructs his yes-man, Howard Needleman, to spring into action and make sure The Monkees' second appearance is a disaster. On the show, The Monkees are prevented from singing at every turn by a wavy camera, a fish net, and an explosive-laced bass drum. To worsen matters, when Mike threatens to quit, The Monkees finally get the go-ahead to perform—"Valleri"—and learn to their dismay that the show had been off the air for the entire five minutes of their performance. Micky, Mike and Davy cheer up a bereaved Peter by engaging in a fantasy sequence parodying every type of TV show from news (The Huntley-Brinkley Report) to quiz (What's My Line, To Tell The Truth), to crime (Batman). The Croc arranges for a deluge of mail panning The Monkees, which prompts a director's meeting called by the president J.J. Pontoon, to discuss The Monkees' future on "The Captain Crocodile Show." Micky, as a rating's expert from the Nielsen Polling Service, Mike, as an elderly building janitor, and Davy and Peter as six year-olds convince the directors that The Monkees are the most popular performers on TV. Crocodile orders his fan club, The Crocodile Corps, to tear the boys apart, setting off a mad chase all over the Screen Gems lot from set to set to the tune of "Your Auntie Grizelda." The chase ends on the "Captain Crocodile" set, where The Monkees gets The Corps to listen to a story, winning them over. When The Captain angrily berates them for ruining his master plan, his own fans turn on him, and the show is changed to "Monkee Menagerie." As they prepare to go on, Howard appears, and, dousing the boys with seltzer, he takes over.

24. Monkees a'La Mode  

First aired: 2/27/1967

Madame Quagmeyer, editor of Chic Magazine, selects The Monkees as the subjects of the annual Young America issue. The next morning, The Monkees, at home during breakfast, read an issue of Chic which they received in the mail and its adjoining letter which says they've been chosen as The Typical Young Americans Of The Year; not long after, Rob Roy Fingerhead, an aesthetic photographer, and Toby Willis, a young editorial assistant, both sent by Madame Q, arrives. Rob Roy views Davy, Micky, Mike and Peter and their surroundings with extreme distaste; Davy and Micky, with a hatchet and a lantern, respectively, proceed to demonstrate that the pad contains artifacts of great historical significance. The boys, since they believe young people aren't at all typical, don't feel they are right for the magazine article, but Toby persuades them that this is their chance to become famous. At the Chic magazine offices, the boys are greeted by Madame Q and interviewed by three sophisticated college girls — Ms. Collins, Ms. Osborne, and Ms. Dilessips — and then initiated into the world of high fashion by Rob Roy, who considers his job hopeless. In the studio, Peter is prodded to improve his posture, Davy is taught how to properly pose, and Micky is coached in combining colors in the things that people wear. The Monkees go into a musical romp, toying around with stuffed animals, fabric and cameras, and singing "Laugh." Toby writes a factual story on The Monkees, but Mme. Q discards it and substitutes a wild exaggeration by Rob Roy, picturing our troupe as madcap snobs, which antagonizes all their friends. Toby quits her job and goes to The Monkees' pad to show them Rob Roy's alteration. Because they can't live up to the image as so inaccurately depicted in the article, the boys hatch a plan to alert the sponsors in attendance of their awards ceremony just what kind of junk their money has been financing. At the advertisers' banquet, The Monkees appear to receive the Chic trophy for grace, chic and gentility—but, swaggering, shambling and oafishly clowning, the boys mortify Madame Quagmeyer with their usual rash of hi-jinks: Peter, the "picture of grace," trips and stumbles into Mme. Q's podium. Davy, the "embodiment of the Chic coiffure," rips of a wig to reveal an immaculately shaven head. And Micky, the "paragon of quiet gentility," knocks Mme. Q aside to shriek into her microphone. As if this weren't enough, Mike, the recipient of the award, shocks everyone by giving Rob Roy all the credit. Trying to escape, Rob Roy stumbles into his chair and crushes his camera. An infuriated Madame Q is restrained from tearing The Monkees to shreds as they display their Monkeeshines to the audience. Later, when The Monkees go to the Style office to demand a retraction, they find that Toby is now the ruthless editor, with Madame Quagmeyer and Rob Roy as her assistants. The Monkees end with their performance of "You Just May be the One."

25. Alias Micky Dolenz  

First aired: 3/6/1967    Production Code: 4726

When Micky is beaten up by a hood named Tony Ferano, Mike persuades him to report it to the police. The Captain is stunned by Mick's resemblance to Baby Face Morales, the most vicious killer in America, who's in jail. Because they neither captured Baby Face's mob nor did they recover the loot, The Captain asks Micky to help capture both by impersonating Baby Face. Micky refuses at first, but changes his mind when he narrowly escapes a drive-by shooting triggered by Tony and his gangster mob. After Micky goes to Baby Face's cell to learn all of his "mannerisms" (and, in the process, nearly gets strangled by B.F. for accidentally hitting him!), The Captain orders Micky to contact Baby Face's friends at The Purple Pelican, a local dive, and learn where they hide. There at The Pelican, Ruby, an aging showgirl who doubles as Baby Face's moll, thinks Micky is Baby Face and promises to help him, but Tony, the new boss, along with his associates Mugsy (who is called Vince by Tony and Micky) and an unnamed man, insists that Baby Face won't get back in the mob, calling him a "has-been." Mick replies, "No, Tony, I was a has-been; now I'm an am-is!", and a bar fight erupts, while "The Kind Of Girl I Could Love" is sung. The brawl ends up with a pile of barflies all over the floor, either unconscious or badly bruised, and "Baby Face" Micky getting in the mob. In the back room, Micky tells Tony and the others that they're going after the DeWitt diamonds, dividing them, and going undercover, and he's rounding up a few specialists to help them. Tony gets suspicious when Micky doesn't know the meeting place (and behaves in other strange ways), and decides to tail him. Back at the pad, Micky declines Mike and Peter's offer to help him as the specialists—until Tony and the mob show up at their front door and browbeat Micky into picking up the diamonds right away. Thinking Mike and Peter are specialists, they drag them along, too. When the real Baby Face breaks jail, The Captain is unable to warn Micky by phone, because everyone is at the site of the jewelry stash. At the Pelican, B.F. greets Ruby, who tells him he should be out with Tony picking up the diamonds. Concerned for his ill-gotten gains, he rushes out in pursuit of his mob. At the DeWitt house, Mike and Peter plant dynamite in the fireplace, but they blow up the piano instead. Annoyed, Tony commands Mugsy to drill through the rubble. They are halted when a policeman shows up, and everyone hides. Mike allays the cop, who gives him tickets for a Policeman's Ball for $20. After they leave, the hoods continue taking apart the fireplace, and just as the gang finds the gems, Baby Face arrives. Peter unwittingly reveals Micky's identity and a fight erupts. Just as Micky, Mike and Peter overcome the mobsters, the police arrive, and The Captain gives each of them a share of the jewels as their reward. But, at the station, he tells Mike "there's only one loose end": he can't tell Micky and Baby Face apart! At the pad, The Monkees finish this set with "Mary, Mary."

26. Monkees Chow Mein  

First aired: 3/13/1967

The Monkees dine in Dragonman's China Boy Club Chinese restaurant, a front for spies who hide messages in fortune cookies. Peter takes fortune cookies and puts them in a doggy bag, and he takes a cookie containing part of the formula for a "Doomsday Bug," a vicious green-spotted, hairy-legged, 200-eyed germ cell! The boys, having eluded pursuit of Asian Triad agents, are quickly apprehended by CIS operative Agent Modell for picking up stolen security info. At CIS HQ, Modell interrogates the boys until Inspector Blount, impressed with his obtaining the formula Peter picked up, lets the boys off. He reports The Doomsday Bug is the CIS' warfare branch's most powerful chemical, and they have been trying to learn the ID of the master of the spy ring (the #2 man being The Dragonman), but the boys refuse to help catch the spies, despite the Inspector's warning of impending danger. Coming for Peter, Toto and Chang abduct Mr. Schnieder, the toy dummy. They come back for Peter, but this time abducts Micky. Micky's abduction finally scares Peter, Mike and Davy into helping Blount and Modell. Feeling responsible for Micky's plight, Peter goes to the restaurant, where he orders "Plan C"—and is clunked unconscious by Chang. Having read a note by Peter, Davy and Mike try to rescue their friend, who, with Micky, is threatened by Dragonman with ants and The Chinese Ice Torture. After their disguises as inspectors from the Food and Drug Administration and Italian restaurateurs fail, the two resort to using a phone booth to change into superhero costumes. When they emerge from the booth as bespectacled Monkeemen, they are observed by an old lady. Meanwhile, at The China Boy Club, The Dragonman gives Micky and Peter a minute to choose which one of 4 doors (3 of which marked for death!) will lead to freedom. After the first 3 tries prove to be futile, Micky and Peter choose one final door, convinced it's the one to freedom; unfortunately, instead the whole gaggle of Triad spies are waiting on the other end, and they emerge, with the ringleader, The Dragonman, ordering their death. Suddenly, Mike and Davy, The Monkeemen, cometh, and their methods of psychological warfare (insults) digress to a diversionary ploy of bluffing Chang and Toto into believing they have The Doomsday Bug as a means of sneaking away, which fails. In the musical chase set to "Your Auntie Grizelda" that ensues, The Monkees take on all comers, including gorillas, mobs of teenage fans, and chickens. The boys stuff cotton in their ears and use a gong in self-defense, and when the CIS arrives all combatants are shaking to the vibrations from the gong. The spies are rounded up and Blount expresses the country's gratitude. However, when Peter opens a fortune cookie and reads a secret note—in homage to Mission: Impossible (CBS, 1966–73)—Micky, Mike and Davy drag him away.

27. Monkee Mother  

First aired: 3/20/1967

Mr. Babbitt, the landlord, tells The Monkees, who are far behind in their rent, that a new tenant is moving in. The boys realize he isn't fooling when Milly Rudnick arrives with suitcases, a parrot and a poodle, both stuffed. When the boys protest Milly's presence, she asks them to stay on as boarders. Larry, a moving man, delivers Milly's furniture and she sets the boys to work helping him. Milly settles down in The Monkees' pad, making a sweater for Mike (whom she mistakenly refers to as Micky), urging Micky to fix the kitchen sink, and preparing gourmet meals for the boys. The Monkees later sing "Sometime in the Morning" to convince Millie's notion that all modern music isn't music. As The Monkees represent the fall of Southeast Asia with dominoes, Milly, a born matchmaker, meets Clarisse Rawlings at the supermarket and brings her home for Davy. Just then, Judy, Milly's sister, and her husband Arthur arrive with their four children, dressed as GIs and playing "army." When Micky tries to keep them out, the kids break down the door with a toy bazooka and chase The Monkees. Babbitt is stunned by the mob who has invaded the apartment. As everyone else goes out to the beach, The Monkees are bound and gagged. After three days, The Monkees feel the only way out is to marry Milly off. When Larry arrives with a lamp he forgot, the boys realize they have their man. The boys convince Larry and Milly they are in love, although Milly almost drives Larry away with an unending monologue about her late husband. The boys get rent money playing for Milly's wedding—where they perform "Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)"—and feel their troubles are over. Then Milly announces she has moved on the same block and will visit them often.

28. The Monkees on the Line  

First aired: 3/27/1967

Believing their massive dearth of gigs is because of missed phone calls, The Monkees approach Mrs. Drehdal, on The Urgent Answering Service, for a special rate. She instead persuades them to take over the switchboard while she goes on vacation in Jamaica, warning them not to get involved with clients. While Mike is on the first shift, he presses a red button which triggers a red bed emerging from a wall (Drehdal says it's for when one gets tired!). In-between a barrage of phone messages, he intercepts a call from Ellen Farnsby, a histrionic thespian, indicating that she is thinking of suicide. Mike becomes very confused and worn-out from attempting to locate Ellen's signal within excessive ringing phones and incoming messages, and Davy, Micky and Peter, dressed as surgeons, revive him with a sprits of seltzer water. Mike and Micky rushes off to stop Ellen, while Davy and Peter take over the phones. Davy gets a call asking Mr. Smith to call Zelda Baby; finding the Smith phone out of order, Davy delivers the message himself. Although Mr. Smith denies knowing any Zelda, his wife chases him and Smith chases Davy around the apartment, starting a row. Meanwhile, Micky and Mike invade Ellen Farnsby's apartment at 4554 Blip St. and finds it replete with guns, knives, bottles of poison and hangman's nooses! They peruse her address book and find out that Ellen is at the theatre, where at the same time she is rehearsing the scene she tried out on Mike. Manny Spink, a bookie, tells Arnold, his runner, of his scheme to use The Urgent Answering Service to handle gambling bets, pretending the horses are vocal groups and that he is an agent. Meanwhile, Micky and Mike dash over to the theater to look for Ellen; her director tells them that she just departed - for her apartment. Micky returns to the UAS to relieve Peter, while Mike finds Ellen at her apartment and pleads against the easy way out. Later, Manny and Arnold, with guns, accuse The Monkees of fouling up a bet which cost them $90,000. As they are about to get rough, Mr. Smith, in a cop's uniform, runs in, pursued by Mrs. Smith. While the phones ring, a mad chase set to "Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)" ensues, concluding with the crooked gamblers trapped under the receiver of a giant green phone. Mr. Smith arrests Manny and Arnold, and Davy convinces Mrs. Smith the message about Zelda was a mistake. Appearing in a stunning mink stole, Ellen thanks Mike for helping her rehearse. Peter wonders what happened if they'd gotten involved with the clients, and the boys put his hands over his eyes.

29. The Monkees Get Out More Dirt